Please Sir, May I have a Hair Hat?

Straight from the Frozen Tundra...

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:00:45 -0400

…that is our office fridge.

Cold Bananas are good.

Taxes under Obama?

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 16:55:46 -0400

Taxes:

If I make $45k a year AND make dividends on investments and make money from the sale of my home, how will I be taxed?

That’s my question. If I am invested in the market, with a 401K and a 529 and a ROTH IRA, will I be taxed on my passive earnings?

I wish someone could answer those questions.

a heart of gratitude.

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:01:44 -0400

i spend a lot of time complaining. i didn’t realize it until i read a few of my ‘blogs’ and it slapped me right in the face. i also spend a lot of time bashing myself. this will stop, too, i think. with a heart of gratitude.

so, here’s my word for the month. not for the year. the month. of september.

gratitude.

always one to break a word down, let’s do that with gratitude.

grat. it’s latin. means free.

tude. it’s what my wife calls me when she’s being funny and i’m being a dork.

gratitude. you’re free to be yourself. lighten up. it’s not about you, it’s FOR you.

like the Bible. it’s not about you. it’s for you.

say thank you.

like this morning. i get up, i go for a surf. all by myself. just me. talking to God. really, i talked to God. we talk.

it’s like in the surf, when no one is out because the tide’s really too high and it’s not supposed to be all that great, but i’m out there and it’s actually kinda fun? that’s the time to talk to God about the big stuff. the why’s and the what for and all that. by the time i get out of the water i’m all ready to be a good guy. to hug my baby a little longer. to speak kindness when i’d rather be a toad to my boss. stuff like that. life’s too short to complain. i mean, really, what do i have to complain about.

wife? check

daughter? check

job? check

house? check

health (everyone)? check

money in the bank? check

love? yup

so what’s the big deal if someone said something that hurt my feelings? get over it and smile. laugh if you have to.

be thankful. you’re alive to make a difference in that person’s life. give them a hug and tell them you’ll buy them some undies that don’t bunch up. maybe tomorrow they’ll smile a little more.

yeah, so, God: thank you for Ashley and Loralai and waves. for this air that we breathe and the fact that i could work today and provide for my family. thank you for the car and truck and boat and van in the driveway. thank you for the driveway. for the fence in the yard. for the yard. for the dogs. for the house that doesn’t leak in a rain storm. for the love that leaks out of the house through the people in it. thank you.

thank you.

baby daddy

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 09:04:16 -0400

baby daddy

Lookin down at you.

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:52:40 -0400

I’ve been singing this song to Loralai lately. Ashley comes in when Loralai gets restless to hold her before bed time and sings with me. It’s pretty cool. (Another fun thing to note is Loralai has taken a fascination with strumming the strings of the guitar)

Can you see the stars above
Looking down, Looking down
Can you see the stars above
Looking down and you?

Do you feel the sun come up
In the sky, In the sky
Do you feel the sun come up
And warm the world for you?

We’re still working on it. She likes to sing the doo-wop background vocals.

Love,

Todd

My Wife Rules: Wife Rule #50: It's a Matter of Respect

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:55:19 -0400

My Wife Rules: Wife Rule #50: It's a Matter of Respect

For Loralai

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:23:12 -0400

I wanted to write a song for Loralai, but I keep drawing a blank. Everything comes out like Dr. Seuss.

If you remember Green Eggs and Ham from my 1998 CD, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

It’s frustrating. I think I’m going to just let it happen and not force it.

Right now I think I’m going to go watch people run around a track with my wife.

Later.

Cute Doesn't Begin to Describe.

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:15:48 -0400

So, as you know, we have a 6 month old daughter named Loralai Whitney. When you think of that name, you think sweet and cute, right? Well, you’d be right. But there’s another side to this beefy bundle of baby. It’s a side that has begun to expect things. Attention, food, you name it. She’s getting an attitude and it’s not cute. Well, at first, it was endearing. The reaching of her hands for daddy. That’s cute. That makes you feel important. You feel like you must be loving this little person right for her to reach out for you.

Did I mention the little bugger’s getting 2 teeth?

Then there’s the insisting. Yes, at 6 months, there’s insisting. Last night, we started with the insisting. We went for a walk. You know, mommy and daddy holding hands and baby in the stroller just cooing and smiling. Everyone waving and smiling as we pass by. You know the scene.

That’s not what happened.

See, I tend to get distracted and can’t walk fast and talk and think at the same time. I tend to slow down a lot. So, Ash and Loralai end up slowing down for Daddy.

Loralai like movement. She’s like her mom. She likes fast, brisk, purposeful - though leisurely - walks. I dautle.

There was a fair amount of a breeze last night, but not enough to keep the little one pacified. And it was hot. A little hotter than I’d expected.

Loralai had had enough of thr stroller and wanted to see things from Daddy’s vantage point. So, I took her out of the stroller and Mom walked in the sun as we walked in the shade. Loralai likes to bounce, so we bounced. I think she’s a Tigger. Or a Roo. Either way, she had blast.

We all need a change of scenery from time to time. It makes us a happier people.

This made for a happier baby.

So when we reached the home stretch, I thought I’d put her back in the stroller (she’s getting heavy — not fat, but heavy). She didn’t like that.

But we had fun bouncing down the street waving at Mom and staring at the trees.

Life is Good.

My Walk

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:53:00 -0400

Why do I keep going back to the old self? Why to I keep going back to the same sins I’ve struggled with for years and give to Christ time and time again?

Because it’s comfortable. It’s familiar. It’s my security blanket. My thumb.

So, I’m learning about roles. I wouldn’t want Loralai feeding herself, let alone feeding me. So, whiy would I try and be God in my life? In the lives of my friends and family. People are human and expecting them to be any different is just arrogant.

I’ll be back…

Surfer’s paralysis (myelopathy) - beginning surfers beware! | To-Hawaii.com

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:28:40 -0400

Surfer’s paralysis (myelopathy) - beginning surfers beware! | To-Hawaii.com

Little Stevie Nicks

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:13:00 -0400

Little Stevie Nicks

Refuse.

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:03:00 -0400

Refuse to go back to the way you used to live. -Mike Ashcraft (Pastor, Port City Community Church, Wilmington, NC)

Yesterday’s patience has nothing to do with today’s challenges. My fruit must be new every day.

I will struggle today with staying the course of God’s will for my life. I must choose to be a man — to make decisions based on God’s plan for redemption.

Fruit is designed to benefit the one who picks it. It’s not about me. It’s about others.

Refuse to let your circumstances effect your joy — that comes from God.

Sappy Pappy.

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:29:00 -0400

So, like every night, we peeked in on Loralai as she slept. It’s nuts, you think when you’re single that you’ll never know love until you find that person to settle down with. Then, that person gives birth to your first child. Sheesh. That’s a completely different love than you ever expected.

Look, you have to love your family, they are your family. They are not always lovable, but who is, really? But, like Raul Julia said in Tequila Sunrise, you don’t get to choose your family. So then you have your friends, who, really, you choose. Or they choose you. Either way, there’s a choice going on. That’s big stuff. Love between friends is a big choice. Then there’s the spouse. See, we choose the spouse, and the spouse chooses us. Great. But unlike family, who you can leave when you’re 18 and see occasionally for holidays and special occasions, and unlike friends, who you can choose not to live with, don’t sleep with (except on those rare moments when there’s no room in any other bed in the house and everyone’s drunk and you happen to not find that oh so lucky young lady to pass out next to), you have to sleep with your spouse, at least 6 nights a week. And you choose to live with them for the next however long either of you is allowed by God to walk the earth. So there’s got to be love there. Love for them, not selfish love. You’ve really got to forget yourself and just love them no matter what. I’m serious.

But then you have this new creation lying there in a crib you spent hours putting together — twice — in a room you spent hours painting with your mother-in-law, in a house you never thought you’d have either a wife or a family in when you bought it 5 years prior in a town you moved to because, what the heck, it might be fun. So there’s a new love here. It’s completely outside yourself. It’s not about staying at work late because you’re ticked off that your wife may or may not have hurt your fragile pride. It’s about swallowing that pride to make sure you work your butt off to finish that pile of work so you can get home to play with this human that God has entrusted you with laughs at your jokes and stupid faces and listens to your silly songs you sing to her and trusts you to put her diaper on correctly so as not to incovenience her with a wet onesy or a poopy bed. You make darn sure she’s taken care of. No more slamming doors and yelling because you didn’t get your way. That’s love. You’ve officially died to yourself and risen to a life that’s a million times bigger than you ever imagined when you were single and only thinking about yourself.

Okay, so this was written from my perspective. You may not have ever had these thoughts and I may be a hairy odd ball. But it’s something to think about.

Oh, and congrats to Iliza Shlesinger!

Love,

Todd

Everything Begins I remember writing this song. I was living...

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 10:43:00 -0400

Everything Begins

I remember writing this song. I was living with my sister in Raleigh, NC back in 1996. I was standing in front of a dresser she had in her guest room writing these words down. I remember thinking about a girl. She was desperate for people to understand her. She craved love with a passion she herself couldn’t fathom. There was something missing and she thought somebady else had to give this to her. She was helpless. She confided in me and in all my knowledge, there was no compassion. I answered like a coward. Get up I said. Get up and let God love you. I said this instead of loving her like God would love her. It was easier and more convenient for me that way.

Then it occurred to me that it’s really not about me. The chorus to the song, “This is where I end, and everything begins,” is the thought, the voice, that was ringing in my ears when I was beating myself up about not being able to help this girl under my own steam. My own selfish agenda (sound familiar) was getting in the way again. It was time to stop trying to control the outcome and just let God lead.

This song was recorded live at a church coffee house in 1997, right before I had decided to leave the booming music scene in Raleigh and move to Wilmington, NC. I got moved a little in the middle and started ranting about John the Baptist. I sometimes wonder if he had that inner struggle — knowing that God was the center and the One worthy of glory and that it was his role to usher in the New Covenant.

There was a follow up song that got recorded about a year later, but I lost those tapes. The song was called Bricks vs Feathers.

So I’m missing my girls. They will be home today some...

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 09:52:51 -0400

So I’m missing my girls. They will be home today some time, but it’s going to be a long day. As selfish and as concerned I can be with my own agenda, it’s kinda ironic that I should be missing anyone, but I do. I miss Loralai — her sounds, her face, her smell — even when it’s a stinky smell. And most of all I miss Ashley. We can really get under each others skin, and having Loralai has really honed that skill, but I still miss her. Her laugh makes you want to laugh. I mean that. It’s not a contagious thing like some would think. It’s a deep down in your belly thing. You hear that laugh and you know it’s for real. You laugh because you know the source and you smile at first. You smile because you’re happy that this person is laughing. You smile because you know why she’s laughing and that Spirit, that Holy Spirit, enters your being and you laugh too.